My favorite Parents

My favorite Parents

I have one dad friend who seems to move more slowly and quietly than others. He’s never raised his voice, he asks my kids what they’re up to, and we always find a laugh. There’s an ease around him that I admire.

I think it’s a simple quality that I appreciate. It’s his steadiness.

Which is a weird word for a human, humans are always moving, talking, doing way too much. Beats are steady, trains are steady, time is steady. It’s a word we use to describe rhythm and pace.

A parent who is steady seems to be in no rush. Not because they are always on time, but because they have a sincere sense of clarity that, “Everything is on schedule.”

When they are 10 minutes late, they walk. When a kid is melting, demanding or defying in the parking lot, they wait. When they see someone they know, they say hello. When they are in the carpool line, they wave kids through the crosswalk.

Our ability to remain steady is about our relationship with time more than anything else. And a parent who is steady is both present to the moment, but progressing patiently. There’s humility and awareness in that disposition.

Our kids learn from this model. They learn that setbacks don’t stop us, we continue to do the best we can at the pace we can. They learn that life is happening now, and we are allowed to enjoy it. They learn that growth is consistent and collaborative, not a command.

I know how this sounds. The bus still comes. Practice still starts at 5:30. Work has deadlines. Being steady isn’t a declaration to stop caring, moving, trying, growing, or learning. Our kids are growing every day, and so are we. Being steady is slowing down enough to walk with your kid for a moment instead of demanding them to catch up with you.

After all, what’s slow is smooth and what’s smooth is fast.

This weekend try this

Give yourself a moment to lay down on your kid’s bedroom floor and listen while they ramble about whatever. Linger at the dinner table, even when the dishes are calling and they still aren’t eating vegetables. When they get escalated or frustrated, stand still and count to 12 before you respond. If the kids are fighting, pull one to the side and sit together in silence for a whole minute. See what steadiness delivers.